Building Strength: How to Increase Your Capacity for Stress
The Concept
Stress is inevitable. No matter how much we plan, meditate, or set boundaries, life will always throw challenges our way.
But here’s the truth: It’s not the weight of the stress that determines its impact—it’s the strength of what carries it.
I love the analogy Mo Gawdat shares about stress. Imagine a ton of weight falling on two different objects. If it lands on a pencil, the pencil will be crushed instantly. But if it lands on something strong enough to support it, like a steel beam, the ton isn’t a problem.
The difference? Not the stress itself, but the capacity of what holds it.
Life won’t stop placing weight on us, but we can increase our ability to carry it.
The Hidden Truth: Hardships Build Capacity
When I look back at my own life, I see how my capacity for stress and resilience has grown—not by avoiding challenges, but by moving through them.
Becoming a single mom stretched me in ways I never imagined. I learned how to juggle responsibilities, make difficult decisions alone, and show up for my kids even when I was exhausted.
Moving across the country with three young children by myself was terrifying. I didn’t know how everything would work out, but I took the leap, and in doing so, I built trust in my ability to handle uncertainty.
Solo travel, stepping into the unknown, and figuring things out on my own strengthened me. Every time I faced discomfort, I became more confident in my ability to navigate life.
Each of these experiences expanded my capacity to hold stress. Not by making stress disappear, but by making me stronger.
Why This Matters: Resilience and Self-Compassion Go Hand in Hand
Resilience isn’t just about pushing through—it’s about how we support ourselves through the weight of life.
Too often, we think strength means handling everything alone, never showing weakness, and just "dealing with it." But true strength also includes:
Self-compassion. Knowing that we don’t have to be invincible. That rest, support, and kindness toward ourselves make us stronger, not weaker.
Perspective shifts. Recognizing that stress itself isn’t the enemy—our relationship to it is. When we stop seeing stress as something to fear and start seeing it as something to build from, we change our experience.
Deliberate stretching. We can intentionally build our capacity for stress—just like a muscle—by seeking experiences that challenge us in controlled, manageable ways.
My Own Journey: How I Built My Capacity for Stress
I used to think stress was something to escape. That if I just got everything right—planned perfectly, worked hard enough, controlled every detail—life would be smooth.
But life doesn’t work that way.
I realized that the most resilient version of me wasn’t the one who avoided stress, but the one who had the capacity to carry it.
I built that capacity by:
Stepping into discomfort instead of avoiding it.
Learning to trust myself through difficult situations.
Practicing self-compassion instead of self-criticism.
And I’ve seen this happen for my clients as well. The more they build their capacity—through mindset shifts, emotional work, and aligned action—the more they realize stress doesn’t have to crush them.
Your Turn: How Can You Build Your Capacity?
Stress will always exist. The question is, how can you strengthen yourself to carry it?
Ask yourself:
What experiences in my life have already stretched and strengthened me?
How can I reframe stress—not as a burden, but as an opportunity to build capacity?
Where can I practice self-compassion instead of just pushing through?
If you’re ready to increase your capacity for resilience, stress management, and self-trust, I invite you to work with me. My coaching is designed to help you step into your strongest, most aligned self—not by avoiding life’s weight, but by learning how to carry it with strength, clarity, and self-compassion.
Let’s talk.
